Last fortnight, my husband passed away. Unexpectedly. Suddenly.
The warm light that is the core of my world, my anchor, the sacred home to my heart. His absence has reshaped every corner of my world, quietly and completely.
Grief is not linear.
It is a shard, a shrapnel.
It is keening. It floats when idle – and sometimes it finds an unexpected mark at an unexpected time.
Grief, with much surprise, has slowly become a friend of mine. It is a witness to how much he means to me. To our children.
These are exhausting days.
Please know that I am grateful for every message, every kindness – even when I cannot reply.
I am so tired.
I need stillness. Still enough to find him. To comfort him. To guide him. But my mind is everywhere – and nowhere.
In sleep, when it arrives, I sink so deep I cannot reach the place I need to be to find him.
I share this here to keep this space, to offer understanding: I am here. I am grieving. And I ask for patience as I need to move at the pace grief allows.
Thankyou for holding space, quietly, while I find my way.
Nusye
When re-emerging, I’ll send a post, and if you’re in the mailing list, you’ll be the first to know. I don’t spam – and of course you can unsubscribe at any time. Thank you
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